It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
The uberlube is also flammable
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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