things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Someone signed my nipple.
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