In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Randomize
