absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
