it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
