my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
