I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize