Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
