We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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