I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
