I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
