They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Less talking, more tequila
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize