I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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