so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
