I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Vodka?
Forever.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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