I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
did i just pee glitter
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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