I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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