I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I think a kid would responsible me up
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize