Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
