are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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