I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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