Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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