Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
