did you get engaged???
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
