My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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