It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize