she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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