you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize