Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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