You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
