Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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