This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
