i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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