Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
