At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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