sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
All the doctor said was why
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
