I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Randomize