I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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