3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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