I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
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