at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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