She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I queefed so loud it echoed.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
