I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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