Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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