Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Randomize
