We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize