it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
