i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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