At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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