If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
