yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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