We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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