Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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