Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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