And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
i believe in u and ur pee
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