u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
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