he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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