go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
