i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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