I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Are my feet made of real feet?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
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