I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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