PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
