Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
