wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
