I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
